Passion

pas·sion
 :intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction
(Merriam-Webster)


How do people find their passion? How do they find that one thing that they truly believe in? The one thing that they dedicate their whole life to?


I just listened to a lecture by a man named E. Benjamin Skinner. He talked about how there are in fact more slaves in this world today than there have ever been. He has dedicated his time and energy to this topic of slavery. Not only writing about it but also finding ways to stop it.


As I sat here in the audience, listening, I wondered what direction my life was headed. What will my passions be? What will I be doing as God's hands and feet?

Two weeks and counting

     This morning, I was sitting on my doorstep (with a cup of Milo) contemplating the sunrise. It was quiet morning. Spooky (my neighbor's doggie) was sitting out on the road as usual, the chickens hadn't yet started running around making noise, and my next door neighbor's puppy was unusually quiet (believe me, I usually wake up to his racket!). 
     I realized that I have exactly 3 weeks before I leave this place. Only three weeks before I leave this place of beauty. This place where I can enjoy quiet sunsets in shorts and tank top. No cars, no airplanes, no busy noises. No having to worry about running for class, about homework, about who likes who, about . . .  well, about life. Ok, so part of this freedom stems from the fact that it's school holiday right now. Oh yeah, and that's also part of the reason why it's so quiet during the morning!
     Back to contemplation. As I checked the calendar on my phone (and drank my Milo) I counted the days and realized that in 3 short weeks I'll be back to my busy life. Where has the time flown? What do I have to show for all my time here? What am I bringing back with me to the States? To be honest, I'm loathe to go back. I can't imagine living that life anymore. School, studying, people, competing, all those things that I used to do so easily. I'm not saying that life here is easy. It certainly isn't. But there is an element of . . . I guess you could call it "freedom" that is missing in the other part of my world. Many of the young adults here have this "freedom" that I wish I had, to a certain extent. No great responsibilities are on their heads. If they didn't want to continue school right now, it's wasn't a big deal. After graduation from secondary school (or high school, as it's known in other parts of the world), it was o.k. to take time off and work at home, or elsewhere. You didn't have to immediately enter higher education. I found out the other day that one of my students at the secondary school is my age. He's 20-years-old and is just in Upper 6 (equivalent to 12th Grade). 20-years-old!! I'm a 20-year-old with 2 years of college already finished!! How did my life become so different from his?
     I look at these past months and long to have those fun times again. Graduation and it's total chaos, going out to eat roti canai with my cousin, sharing laughs with fellow teachers, teasing my students, walking around campus and enjoying laughs. I've baked pies, brownies, cookies, and more with the company of The Nanny and my "nephew", I've jumped in the river with my cousin Suzika, I've taught science and math and music, I've cheered my kids at sports day (where they took gold medals). I've grown in ways that I never realized before. I'd like to think I'm more level-headed now, that I think before I make my decisions, that I weigh my options, my words, my actions. 
     Most of all, I'm going to miss the friends I've made. Spooky the dog, Cikgu Johnny, Soliten, and their families, my students who tell I'm beautiful, the little boys who always say "Good morning, teacher" in their adorable voices, my "adopted mom", my musical friend, aunties at work, and so much more. I don't want to leave! It's only 2 more weeks! 
Really?

We Are the World

One of the biggest things to hit the Western Hemisphere this year was the massive earthquake in Haiti. Because I was in Sabah (and don't read the news regularly. yes, I know, selfish) the news didn't really rock my world. In fact, I only heard about it because the only section of the Sabah newspaper I read is Global Affairs. If I had been back in the States, this would've been front-page news and everyone would've been talking about it. It would've been the only topic of conversation. Well, that and who was going to go down and help. To be honest, I was quite envious of my friends who were able to go down and help with the relief efforts. I'm a nursing student myself and I wanted so much to go with the team from Union College. 

I saw the pictures that were taken and couldn't believe the amount of destruction that occurred in the span of a few short minutes. Whole buildings collapsed, thousands injured, and many many more just disappeared. People turned to realize that they no longer had homes, jobs, workplaces, and most of all, family members who'd disappeared. I cannot imagine the pain and disbelief they must have gone through. 

The other day, I was surfing Youtube and came across this video. To be honest, I'm glad that the industry that has such an impact on our lives had decided to lend a helping hand through of the best mediums possible. They were able to combine both their talents and their popularity to reach out to the world and convince other people to help. 

They also reminded me that we do have a responsibility to the rest of the world. We are all Children of God, and as brothers and sisters we should care for each other. 

A big shout out to all those who took time out of their lives to go out and serve others. Doctors, nurses, students, parents, everybody, you've truly been God's hands. 

Anyways, I really enjoyed this video and I hope you do too.

Misha

Photos tell a thousand words

Gladden and I filling bags with dirt

Having fun in the river

Monkey :)

With some of my students

The hard working boys -- and I

Finally, a note!

To all my friends,
I know that I haven't kept in contact. And I'm really sorry about this. That's the thing with this procrastination thing, it's terrible. I constantly say "I'll do it tomorrow" . . . but tomorrow never comes.
However, tomorrow is here. Here's a small piece of what it's been like living overseas. There's so much to learn, see, and experience that, as you know, I can't possibly describe it all. But, heres to me trying to give you a little glimpse.

I can't believe I . . .

• sat in a mangosteen tree and ate fruit that I had just picked -- mmm, heaven!


• climbed a durian tree, had a durian party, and currently have some in my fridge.


• have kids. Yes, it's true, about 500 of them, to be precise.


• don't miss the cold. I love having 80 degree weather constantly.


• had a lake around my house. It flooded :)


• live without a microwave. It's taught me not to be lazy anymore. No more nuking! Much healthier :)


• speak Malayenglish. Quite well too! You'd think I was a native :)


• think my idea of a retreat is to travel 2 hours up a mountain to a tiny village for a weekend. And spend the most wonderful time swimming in rivers that contain things I don't even want to think about!


• am the pianist for a youth singing group. They've made me realize that the youth of our church really are the future. They just need a little encouragement to get them going


• am teaching grammar to secondary school students. I study one lesson ahead of them!


• am now a totally different shade of brown. So brown that my students call me "black"!


• enjoy the simplest things, like sharing a chocolate cake with my cousin. Spending hours talking about nothing. Being ourselves.


• have an ISP -- my nephew.


• has a mango tree in the front yard from which I got fresh, delicious, yummy-yummy mangoes from during season (making me wish for more again)


• lives with all manners of creatures: rats, flies, ants, cockroaches, etc. Actually, I can't believe I haven't freaked yet.


• write my dates like this "2 March 2010" instead of "March 2, 2010"


• spend my time discussing problem students during my spare time


• live without water occasionally. I have buckets.


• can almost sing the National Anthem and State Song by heart . . . almost!


• now say "football" instead of "soccer" -- it is the real name after all


• don't want to go home.


There are so many more things that just cannot be put into words. People, places, jokes, experiences, how does one describe it all? It's impossible. It's really been an amazing to be here in Sabah for these months. I've learned that teaching is not so bad after all (after saying that I'd never, ever, ever teach . . . guess what I did for 6 months?!), that kids are amazing little human beings, that I should never underestimate my students. I've learned to laugh, joke, and somehow coax students into doing their assignments. I've learned that yes, I do sound like my mom sometimes (which scared me like none other!), and that I need to get out of my shell a little bit more. I've learned that I can't keep living behind someone else, I can't wait for someone to reach out to me -- I've gotta reach out first. Taking the first step is the hardest but can reward you with the best experience you'll ever have. I've learned that I'm not naturally organized, I tend to be a bit of a mess.

But the biggest thing I've learned is that I can't do any of this by myself. I'm a young adult who doesn't know what she's doing teaching students. I have no degree, no experience whatsoever, and yet here I am teaching! I asked what Solomon asked, Give me wisdom and knowledge that I may go out and come in before these people.And He answered! He's given me the knowledge and wisdom to teach classes, to come up with ideas for presenting ideas, for being here. It's made me realize even more that He did want me here, there was a reason for this adventure.

Love,
Misha

Wats . . . and what not

Today was a day full of adventures. My cousin took me (and my mom & sister) to see the Grand Palace and several of the wats (temples). I took the train from OnNut to Saphan Taksin (the train stop by the river). Then the fun ride began. At Saphan Taksin I got on a river boat taxi. This went all the up to Tha Chang, the pier for the wats (temples) and the Grand Palace.

By the time we reached Tha Chang it was well past noon. So we stopped for some lunch at a little restaurant near the outdoor bazaar. The waiter was so nice! He said that Deanna and I looked Thai! When we told him that we were actually Sabahans, he told us that he loved Sabah! After we had finished eating, he asked each of us our age. Since my mom was the oldest he said that she had to pay!! It was quite funny :D He also asked my cousin if she had a Thai boyfriend or if she was marrying a Thai man. She jokingly said, "Yes!"
After lunch we started on our tour. I saw the Grand Palace (no longer used by the Royal Family) and many wats. I didn't want to pay 300 baht/person to go inside the Palace so we just stayed in the courtyard. The Palace is adjacent to the Temple of the Jade Buddha. And all the roofs are covered in gold! I wish the sun had been shining, it would have been glowing! But sunny days are good for portraits too. After taking some pictures we decided to head over to Wat Pho, the Temple of the Reclining Buddha. It cost about 50 baht/person to get in but the temple grounds are extensive. I had to remember to take my shoes off every time I entered one of the temples! The Reclining Buddha is massive! It seems that they had to build the temple around the statue. The whole thing is covered in gold and the bottom of the feet are made of inlaid mother-of-pearl. Outside the temple you can see the pointed tops of the other, smaller temples around. Most of their roofs are covered in gold leaf.

We wandered around the place for a couple more hours. I was surprised to see how many tourists there were visiting the temples. Well, I was a tourist so I shouldn't say that!

The Reclining Buddha

His feet . . . inlaid mother-of-pearl

It started to rain about the same time we decided to leave. Hoping it would stop soon, we took shelter in one of the temples. After a few minutes, the guard told us that he was closing at 4:30 . . . in 5 minutes! So we kept hoping that the rain would stop. But it didn't show any signs of quitting . . . anytime soon! Thankfully, there was a lady selling ponchos around the corner and the guard asked her to come over and sell us some ponchos. We bought some, put them on, then decided to brave the weather. Deanna and I decided to take our shoes off and walk in the rain. Neither of our shoes were very suited to walking in the rain. I'd just bought mine less than a week ago! Brand new shoes (flats, actually). . . and they already had a hole in the bottom of them. We walked out of the compound and found a taxi that took us back to the pier.

Before leaving Tha Chang my mom stopped to buy some fruit at the open air market. I wandered over to see a man selling fresh fruit with some kind of seasoning. Being adventurous, I bought a bag of sliced, unripe mangoes and told him to give me what he thought I should try. So, he did! I tried it when we got to the pier and mmmmm, it tasted good! Green mangoes with salt & chili is delicious! I'm trying to find another street vendor who is selling that. I think there's one at On Nut station :D

We finally made if back to our hotel room later that evening. I was soaked but I had lots of fun!

Me on the boat ride back! Wet!

It was a lot of fun going around Bangkok with my cousin and very . . . how should I say it . . . "enlightening" to see the temples. I saw monks getting ready for evening prayers, tourists meditating in front of a statue of Buddha, and pilgrims burning incense. As I sat under an overhang (while it was raining), I couldn't help but realize that this is why we go as missionaries, this is why I feel called to go out. I wanted to tell all those whom I saw that there is a God in Heaven who loves them, who doesn't live on whims that He comes upon, that He died for them because He loved them so much. They don't have to go through rituals and groveling and hoping that their god will see fit to bless them this time.

At the same time I see the challenges that missionaries face. How can you tell people about the God that we serve? That was the question that I asked myself as I sat there thinking. How can I, through my life, be a living testament to others about my Jesus? How?

A Weekend in Thailand

Sawa dee from Thailand!!

As I sit here at the computer I am glad to be able to finally rest my feet. It's been a full weekend! I had a great time at Mission College in Muak Lek (2.5 hr van ride from Bangkok). That ride, in itself, was an adventure. Wait . . . I guess I should back up and start at the beginning.

On Friday, we (my cousin, Jessen, my mom, sister, and I) took a train all the way from Jessen's apartment to the van terminal. That's where we started the van ride. Unfortunately we began our journey at 6 in the evening and I wasn't able to see very much of the country side (and on the way back I slept . . . so I still didn't see much of the countryside!!). But the road system is very much like the U.S. except for the fact that here they drive on opposite sides of the road. Trust me, that takes a lot of getting use to! I keep thinking the drivers are going the wrong way! Anyways, back to the trip. Finally, we arrived at Mission College at around 9:00 PM at night. And we went straight to bed. Ahhhh, a bed! Soft pillow, mattress . . . luxury!

The next morning my cousin Deanna came by to pick us up for church. My mom and sister stayed back in the guest room because my little sister caught some kind of bug. But us three cousins went to church. They took me to the Malay/Indonesian Sabbath School class. I was so happy to hear Bahasa Malay! I don't understand a bit of Thai and to hear words that sounded familiar brought so much joy to my heart!! I really have to learn Bahasa now! It was slightly hard to understand the lesson content even in Malay but I at least got some kind of context :D After church I also met some of my mom's old colleagues and friends that she knew from Malaysia. They couldn't remember me because the last time they had seen me was when I was 7 years old. I've changed quite a bit since then!

We went back to the guest house after church and picked up the two "sick" ones and headed down to the cafeteria for lunch. Mmmm, they make good food in the cafe! Very different from Union Market but good nonetheless. Mom almost missed lunch because she was talking to friends whom she hadn't seen for 12 years! That was definitely understandable. After lunch Deanna gave us a tour of the campus. Very, very beautiful! The buildings are spaced out and, because it is out of the big city, there is plenty of fresh air. After lunch we saw students sitting outside under a tree playing their guitars and singing praise songs together. There was also an AY program that afternoon at the Student Centre. Later that evening, I went (with my cousins) to D'Chillz a little diner led by students, run by students, for students. There they cook (each night has a different menu) and they hang out and have fun. I loved the atmosphere! It was like Cooper's Corner but . . . cooler! One of the cooks suggested "Lime-and-Vanilla" mix of ice cream. I've gotta say, that was really good. Mmmmmm, I'm getting hungry just thinking about it! After getting some sleep that night :D, I went for a breakfast/potluck at Aunty Rita's house. My mom had a good time talking with old friends. My sister and I went back after about 2 hours. She stayed until 1/2 hr before we were supposed to leave! She definitely enjoyed her time at Mission College. And so did I. I love the campus and the people. They were so welcoming and they actually wanted me to come as a Volunteer to MC. Maybe after college! I'll be the first English lecturer at the nursing school!

After another 2 hr van ride . . . back to Bangkok this time . . . us girls headed out to Chaktuchak. It's an open market, the biggest in Thailand, in Bangkok. I had fun! I learned how to bargain and got to see a new side of Thailand. You learn a lot about people from open markets. You learn facial expressions, body language, and a whole lot of stuff. I definitely didn't need to know Thai to be able to figure out if the shopkeeper was happy with how much I was bargaining for. Definitely an eye opening experience!

Now, I'm going to go to sleep. It's pretty late already and I'm heading out to be a total tourist tomorrow. No more shopping! I hope! Deanna will be taking us out to see some of the temples and the Palace. I need to buy another memory card to take pictures. I thought I had enough memory but I guess I've taken more pictures than I realize!

Anyways, ra-tree sawat (Good night), from Thailand!